Rediscovering Me

I am one of the many people who frequent Bangsar Village. I find the location convenient: its a 10/15 min drive from home, parking spots are generally easy to find, amenities are good - clean toilets, ATM machines, post office close by... , the supermarket stocks all that I want at pretty reasonable prices, along with the finer things in life which are not usually available at the hypermarkets, Caring Pharmacy always has a pharmacist on duty & they are friendly & helpful and there are lots of eateries, in the building & nearby that makes it all in all very nice. More importantly, the staff that they work there are really nice people, always with a smile & helpful. Last Thursday night though underscored all these reasons. I was to meet some friends for buka puasa at BV 2. As I drove into the car park, along with the many cars making their way there at that busy hour, I suddenly saw one of the staff (he was a local Chinese, a supervisor I guess) running to get my atte...

Further to my entry yesterday, I've completed Day 1 of my 2-week Phase 1. It wasn't to difficult to avoid carbs for the day. Had a boiled egg for breakfast, salads for lunch & dinner, along with 3 cafe lattes. Today, it will have to do the salads with dressing on the side. Also, did my workout when I got home and believe it or not (it could be an illusion) but I actually think I seem a little trimmer - at least at the sides :-) I have unearthed my Inner Talk CD on Weight Loss Now & its playing on my PC as I type. I intend to use this diligently for the next 30 days & am confident I will see results. I feel alive! despite my cold and am so looking forward to my day.

Realised that I'm in a self-destructive cycle. I'm upset & needy but I seek refuge in food - not a good thing when one has a weight problem. And its particularly bad when I am actually well aware of the consequences of being in a cycle like this. Cheating on my weight plan causes me to feel guilty & the added weight makes me feel even worse. Not to mention the telling off that I got from hubs yesterday. I believe that there's a better way of saying these things but when it is all true, my position is not defensible & I DESERVE IT! Just because the world does not notice me, doesn't mean that I should allow myself to perpetuate the myth - that I am less than a person! I am not being fair to me! So, yesterday, I made a promise to myself. To be the best that I can be! And what does this mean... 1. To lose weight Whether I like it or not, appearance does play a huge role in how people perceive me. So I need to look good. And I have been told time & again that...

I'm in a thoughtful mood - searching for the cause & meaning of a certain 'emptiness' inside. All things considered, everything is going well. Work is great, kids are doing okay, no one particular thing wrong. And yet, something is. I feel a lack of connection to me. Its as if I am here, but not quite, a certain hollowness to all I do. I've wondered if its because of my neglect of the spiritual aspect of my life. Over the last week, I tried to make time to be with the Lord, to meditate ( as best I can, lol), to talk to Him & to hear Him. And I'm happy that we've reconnected, the Lord has always been a friend, and its nice to get back in touch. But have also realised that while my spirituality adds another dimension to my life, the lack of it isn't the cause the present emptiness. I think its because 'Me' is presently not very connected to anyone. I relate to people at work as an employee & while I enjoy great friendships at work, it isn...